Milestone Declaration

old woman
Photo my own

I am approaching a milestone birthday.

I am an old woman.

At best, I have a few fly-by years left.

This is my newly articulated decision:

I have spent a lifetime fighting for Life on every level.

I have achieved, sacrificed, overcome impossible health problems,

Served and served and served, given and given and given.

Some have chosen to reject me.

Now I renounce all regrets. I anticipate nothing.

I Live.

Do not advise me to be faithful.

Don’t tell me to do “what’s right and it will be all right”.

Do not tell me to be brave or strong or careful.

I refuse. I refuse to explain myself.

I also refuse to abandon any lovely creature comforts in my life.

I love you with a fire in my eye. Love me.

Love me extravagantly.

Or leave me.

 

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Never Again

“… do  not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and maul you.” ~ Jesus

clarity
Photo ~ my own

There came a moment in the daylight hours when I had a clarity and saw it.

 

I was believing I was like a dog who got only crumbs — and it was okay.

That is when it stopped.

There was not a thing I could do to change that from happening except I could withdraw from the gorgeous users who throw out the occasional crumb.

Never again.

Dark Kiss

dark kiss 2
Photo ~ my own

An unexpected call near noon revealed his stretched out

 

cry of love and vulnerability.

I am adored by the dawn star love god.

Others gaze and admire.

I remind them his heart

will forever come home to me.

Others envy or resent.

They block the site/sight of a love

they can never penetrate.

He will always nest with me.

He will love me best.

Near or far —

His mind and heart

will be with me.

Me.

Gazab.

 

WARNING

crying angel

Dear friend,

If you are enjoying a stable life for even a few moments each day,

do not fall in love.

If you have no attachments, protect this peace of mind.

Do not fall in love.

 

Falling in love is a drug with strange side effects.

The more you need him, the less he will want you.

So never need him.

The more you give, the more he will crave —

and at the same time — become barren of ideas of how to include you in his life.

The more time you spend obsessing about him, the less time he will have for you.

 

It defies explanation — the effects of this addiction to diminishing dreams and

shifting personas.

 

If I have reached you when it is already too late (ah, poor woman, you succumbed to the fantasy of love again), I have recommendation.

Forget any expectations you have of him.

Surrender.

Surrender to his fading interest.

Surrender to his undying attention to the demands of all others in his life.

Surrender to reality.

Surrender to seeing him everywhere you look —

every moment, every day with nothing to compare.

Surrender to your paradise lost — having never really been gained.

 

To reiterate it simply,

do everything in your power to never fall in love.

Surrender to daily life,

but do not fall in love.

 

But you will fall in love.

And so will I.