silent jean

Luke 2:19 ~ But Mary (the mother of Jesus) treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart.

Ecclesiastes 3:7b ~ …. a time to keep silence and a time to speak ….

I talk too much. I am one to process my thoughts aloud. This Advent season, I am suddenly aware of how much unnecessary junk I say.

Jean, be quiet.



rejected me
Myself, age 16

I have experienced rejection in my life (haven’t we all?).

When I was young, it was because I was too holy, too elitist and too serious (don’t many of us try to please our teachers at an early age?).

Now any rejection I experience is because I am too liberal, too free and too tolerant.

I have the comfort of knowing they are rejecting the authentic me.

better me
Me now





You left us so suddenly last week.

I was your mother’s pastor several years ago. She was 100 years old. You were so attentive to her and always called her Mommy.

One distressed day, I asked you to bless me. Your eyes widened. Then you simply touched my forehead with your forehead.

I did not realize until now, what a Muse you were for me when I play keyboard for worship at church and for the choir. Your tenor voice was our gift.

I wish I had told you sooner.


The Secret . . .

temple in cave in Thailand
Temple in a Cave in Thailand ~ internet photo. Thank you, anonymous photographer.


So, what is the secret to life?

I have dwelled in the moment, counted my blessings, trusted, surrendered, waited, viewed everything as nothing, become Nothing, thought, refrained from thought in meditation, done, been, believed, confessed and repented.

Now — I am what I am.

I give up.

Not really.

The heart wants what the heart wants.


At Age 69

The mad woman in the attic 

who has been held captive all these years

has busted down the door,

is stomping down the stairs,

and screaming,




~ Idea from Erica Jong
~ Photos my own
~ Angry Indian Goddess online art. Thank you unknown artist.





The Magic Carpet Ride ~Apollinari Mikhailovich Vasnetsov

“ . . . I’ll wait for you . . . Sleight of hand and twist of fate . . . I can’t live with or without you . . . .”  ~ U2

Where is the place inside me that is the Source of life?

When I pause to notice this space, I sense Mystery, Freedom, Beauty.

Then I see you.

How long have you been here?

Are you part of the Divine who dwells here?

Are you a component of my Freedom?

Or is Freedom not wanting or needing any person?


I know I pray to be Free with or without you.

To love you cool.

I also pray to grasp your hands,

Touch your face,

Kiss your back. . . .


THE TRIUNE GODDESS: Her Personal Thoughts on a Man’s Sense of Entitlement

Art ~ Susan Seddon Boulet

My Dear Self, I need some answers.

From ego driven self:

How do I handle this being hot as coals on my head angry? I feel kicked to the curb. I have been used. I have been made promises that were never intended to be kept – misled — probably laughed at. Now my pain is being used against me. It tastes bitter. I invested self-consuming love and trust. Now I am cast aside.


From Truer Self:

Remember. It isn’t like I went in sightless. Is it wrong to choose to love someone? Is it dishonorable to give, even to someone who is giving little back? I knew. I chose to love based on examples of those who suffer for others and give, give, give. So, there are false promises that were believed at the time they were given. Big deal. No denying this person is delightful company. My joy is real. Even if someone else’s joy is not. That is punishment – for them to never feel genuine joy. I was sincere. No one can rob me of that. I built another’s new life for them. Their choice of dishonesty carries its own punishment. For me, no fear. No authentic loss. Maybe disappointment that turns into a lesson learned.


From the Divine Witness:

This has no importance. The True Source of You is present in, with, before and behind it all. Your serene power is forever protected. Deceit gains nothing. It cost you nothing essential. You are not harmed, but helped. You are not weakened, but strengthened. Your love has grown more fruitful. You have not become more imprisoned, but more free. Rest. I protect you from “being taken” – there is no such thing. I give you freedom to love. No hate can poison Me/You. It is all harmless.

Love and unified life win.




Welcome the lion . . .

roaring lion
online art — Thank you anonymous artist.

Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour.” ~ I Peter 5:8b

Welcome the lion on your path.” ~ Mooji

When one comes face to face with a lion, you melt away.

At that moment you have no past,

no plans,

no expectations,

no titles,

no future.

You are instantly stripped

of the superfluous —

Stripped to nothing

but your essential, authentic


We all have those moments in life

when we face a lion on our path.

Welcome those moments —

To encounter

one glimmering momentary insight

into One’s Eternal Self.