SUSPENDED

shore
Photo from Realistic Poetry

 

Sometimes you can stand

Suspended between your past and future.

No longer submerged in life — on shore.

Is it a dawn or sunset?

Maybe both.

Is there time for love and hope yet?

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SAD LOVE POEM

sad
Photo ~ my own

 

I delete 100 of your texts every day.

The years you and I conversed with joy.

     Texts gone.

There was a time you were eager to contact me

Before the world.

You were proud of me. (I am proud of you.)

     Texts gone.

You sang love songs to me.

We wrote poetry together.

     Texts gone.

You knew me more and better than anyone

Ever in my long life.

I know you better than even your mother knows you.

     Texts gone.

You were the one who had my confidence and trust.

Your family, home and friends were mine.

     Texts gone.

Over the months you backed away —

Fading more and more.

I became angry and sad.

You became angry and sad.

Then the fighting began —

Vicious cycle — so mad.

     Texts gone.

There never was or ever will be

Another love like you.

And yet you withdrew.

     Texts

     Gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JEALOUSY OR LOSS OF TRUST?

familiar
Rose Alone with Helper ~ online art

 

Scenario of two main characters:

Rose and Butterfly have loved one another for four years.

There has been a generous beauty and sharing of art, poetry, movies, theater, history, and good company.

Rose adores Butterfly and has always believed the feeling is mutual.

Enter 2 other characters:

Old “friends” of Butterfly (with what kind of history?), Corpulent But Hungry Scorpion and Stupid But Self-Aggrandizing Viper. No problem, except . . . . Both of these friends are rude, disrespectful and cruel to Rose. Why? Who knows? Nobody will say. She has had minimal interaction with them. Stupid But Self-Aggrandizing Viper is especially aggressive and dangerous.

This behavior hurts and frightens Rose. She informs Butterfly repeatedly. He claims to be acting on behalf of her emotional and physical safety. The friends’ actions continue. On the last occasion of their unkind and destructive behavior, Rose expresses great distress. Much to Rose’s surprise and dismay, Butterfly sides with Corpulent But Hungry Scorpion and Stupid But Self-Aggrandizing Viper.

In response, Rose decides to end their supposed loving trustworthy relationship. Observation: Adults can behave like playground bullies and junior high school liars.

Rose needs your insight. Question, dear friends: Is Rose experiencing

Jealousy

Or

Loss of Trust?

I HAVE GIVEN THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT

harps-on-the-willowsBy the rivers of Babylon – there we sat down and there we wept . . . .

On the willows there we hung up our harps . . . .

~ Psalms 137: 1a, 2

 

Some of us, through a series of poor decisions or bad circumstances – end up in a place we have no belonging. We have treasured beliefs or identities we can never express without the need to defend ourselves. We have to walk away or be silent during preposterous conversations. The energy to express our viewpoint iS drained from us.

We choose to “hang up our harps” rather than create, sing or contribute — living a life in exile.

The above Biblical quote was written on behalf of a people, who during a war, had been taken away from their homeland. They were allowed live and work in a place they did not desire to be, but were not allowed to leave. Is it possible to dream of joy in such a place?

Now comes the point in this essay to give you a list of solutions if you are experiencing intellectual and demographic isolation.

Dear reader, there is no list of answers. I don’t know.

I have learned I must be my best resource for inspiration and happiness in my life.

One Winston Churchill quote comes to mind: “If you are in hell, keep going.” And another quote from him: “Never, never, never give up.”

Know this. You are not alone.

Take that harp down out of the tree.

 

 

 

Milestone Declaration

old woman
Photo my own

I am approaching a milestone birthday.

I am an old woman.

At best, I have a few fly-by years left.

This is my newly articulated decision:

I have spent a lifetime fighting for Life on every level.

I have achieved, sacrificed, overcome impossible health problems,

Served and served and served, given and given and given.

Some have chosen to reject me.

Now I renounce all regrets. I anticipate nothing.

I Live.

Do not advise me to be faithful.

Don’t tell me to do “what’s right and it will be all right”.

Do not tell me to be brave or strong or careful.

I refuse. I refuse to explain myself.

I also refuse to abandon any lovely creature comforts in my life.

I love you with a fire in my eye. Love me.

Love me extravagantly.

Or leave me.

 

\

Never Again

“… do  not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and maul you.” ~ Jesus

clarity
Photo ~ my own

There came a moment in the daylight hours when I had a clarity and saw it.

 

I was believing I was like a dog who got only crumbs — and it was okay.

That is when it stopped.

There was not a thing I could do to change that from happening except I could withdraw from the gorgeous users who throw out the occasional crumb.

Never again.

Dark Kiss

dark kiss 2
Photo ~ my own

An unexpected call near noon revealed his stretched out

 

cry of love and vulnerability.

I am adored by the dawn star love god.

Others gaze and admire.

I remind them his heart

will forever come home to me.

Others envy or resent.

They block the site/sight of a love

they can never penetrate.

He will always nest with me.

He will love me best.

Near or far —

His mind and heart

will be with me.

Me.

Gazab.

 

WARNING

crying angel

Dear friend,

If you are enjoying a stable life for even a few moments each day,

do not fall in love.

If you have no attachments, protect this peace of mind.

Do not fall in love.

 

Falling in love is a drug with strange side effects.

The more you need him, the less he will want you.

So never need him.

The more you give, the more he will crave —

and at the same time — become barren of ideas of how to include you in his life.

The more time you spend obsessing about him, the less time he will have for you.

 

It defies explanation — the effects of this addiction to diminishing dreams and

shifting personas.

 

If I have reached you when it is already too late (ah, poor woman, you succumbed to the fantasy of love again), I have recommendation.

Forget any expectations you have of him.

Surrender.

Surrender to his fading interest.

Surrender to his undying attention to the demands of all others in his life.

Surrender to reality.

Surrender to seeing him everywhere you look —

every moment, every day with nothing to compare.

Surrender to your paradise lost — having never really been gained.

 

To reiterate it simply,

do everything in your power to never fall in love.

Surrender to daily life,

but do not fall in love.

 

But you will fall in love.

And so will I.

 

 

 

 

 

A poem revisited: To My Muse

Here you are.

Be close and distant.

My art will change and remain.

Do as you will.

Sail far beyond the Isle of Reason and Emotion.

Shape shift as you will,

To the point of delusion and elusion.

Sleep with one thousand newly fertile or virile virgins

All at the same time.

Make tryst history

With innumerable carnal reciprocities.

Meditate for years

In the cloistered Genie bottle.

Do as you will.

Don’t leave.

cr_MichaelParkes-023-TheRiver (menage e toi)
All art by Michael Parkes